The Daylight Marriage by Heidi Pitlor

Author:Heidi Pitlor
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: Algonquin Books
Published: 2015-04-14T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter 14

This beach had been the site of so much bad behavior back in college. Why had they come here? Southie was always in the news then, not that she had paid much attention, but she and Doug had been aware of the lingering unrest after the riots and Whitey Bulger and the bodies that kept turning up. Carson was close to BU, sure, but there were plenty of other places they could have gone. Was it the danger itself that drew them? Danger was a sort of drug when she was in college. They were still infallible, not yet responsible for all that much. She had first tried coke here, huddled around a bonfire with Doug and a handful of other guys. She had skinny-dipped with Doug here, made love in this water, which was filthy then. When she told friends where they had gone and what they had done, the look in their eyes was worth it. “Do you have a death wish?” Sophie asked her once.

Hannah now saw an elderly couple walking their dog on the beach. Two women with white-blond hair stood at the water’s edge and watched her lift one foot over the curb and step onto the path that led to the sand. She hugged herself against a bitter breeze. Down a ways, a man sat cross-legged with his chin to his chest. He had his eyes on her too.

Summer was gone. She would probably not step foot on a beach for at least another eight or nine months.

The women walked along the sand. Hannah glanced at her watch. She had to get going. She had to drive the half hour to work; if she left now, she might still be on time.

And if not, well, the girls at the store would easily forgive her. She should have drunk in their respect, their compliments about her new shirt or haircut, her lip gloss. “Can you teach my mom a few things?” Marcy had asked Hannah the other week.

But such words were so often lost on Hannah, and on a bad day they could make her stomach churn, the men in stores who stole glances at her and tentatively asked her the time or where the post office was, the moms at the kids’ schools who fawned over Ethan’s assist during a soccer game or Janine’s viola playing at a school concert or Hannah’s handbag or scarf or sunglasses. Hannah was no better, no smarter or kinder than anyone else. She was not unusually interesting or amusing. She was attractive and it got her things that she did not deserve.

Please, Hannah might have said to Marcy or the men or one of those moms. Please stop.

Please don’t stop. Because without these words, this attention and empty praise, what was there?

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.